Journal Journeys

subway train

I woke up happy but now I feel melancholy

Standing on the platform, I try to ignore the thoughts about what I look like and focus on something else. Anything else. At least I know that the reality is, I don’t know these people and they don’t care about me.

Why I am airing my dirty laundry

There is a lot of value in talking about survival and moving forward in life. It is important to see what the future can hold, but when you feel alone in the thick of sorrow the only thing that you want is to feel less alone.
Journal doodle

Contemplating the unspeakable

I hate admitting this, it’s unspeakable, and writing it down makes it even more real. I’ve been thinking about killing myself a lot. If I didn’t know the horrific trauma that death causes on the people who love the dead person, I think I’d have done it already.
Ocean Wind

You Are Worth Life, Even If You Want to Give Up

If you are hopeless, want to give up, or are contemplating suicide. Please take a minute to read this and call someone. You aren't alone. You don’t have to go through this feeling alone. You are stronger than you know and more incredible than you believe.
Depression from scrabble tiles

College student and wondering if this is depression

Every day I struggle to get up and go to class. I find no meaning in anything I do and I go to a counselor here on campus, but I still feel the same.
Solo Tree Black and White

Alcoholic spiraling towards rock bottom

Angry at myself. I’ve been drinking every single day for like a week. I know why I’m doing it. Without something to confuse my sense, I don’t have to deal with this internal struggle.

Making a living

I have a mission. That mission is to eradicate the stigmas that keep people in pain, too ashamed to seek help or unable to get help. If you want to help me do this, donate to support this work.
Me Journaling on the beach

How Journaling Has Helped Me Heal

From a young age, I learned that writing about my pain was like talking to a friend. My journal has traveled as far and wide as I have.
Emotional Selfie

When Depression Shows Her Face

Age – 29 Depression weighs on me Why is Depression so heavy? Hanging around in the pit of my stomach, a pulsating orb, a cancer re-emerging after remission. The sorrow is physically manifested in my gut. I feel a deep discontent. A piece missing or shifted into the wrong position. A heavy weight, crushing. Like
skin picking

I Can’t Stop Picking At My Skin

Age: Childhood I Need to Pick Mom liked to redecorate and renovate. She decked out the main bathroom in blue and put up yellow and blue wallpaper. The dated linoleum floor was replaced with one to match the new décor. The bathtub had always been blue, now the rest of the room was too. I

Racing thoughts and intense social anxiety

I prefer to go under the radar than let people get close and reject me once they get to know me. I am afraid to be honest.
Mural Buenos Aires

Exhausted and anxious

No matter how ready this anxiety is trying to make me, there is no way to prepare for doom. Living in fear is a kind of hell.

I am less everything than before

I'm not incredibly sad all the time. I don’t feel much of anything most of the time. I’m not just sadder than I used to be, I’m less everything.
Shadow of someone on a swing

Swinging up and down in depression

Up and down emotions. One moment I feel excited and ready to try something new, and the next I am afraid of rejection and hide back in my bed.
Street Art Face with Mouth Covered

Once a sad little kid now a confused adult

Where is the inspiration I used to have? It feels weird to be an adult and sometimes feel like the same sad little kid I once was.
Red car

Exploring Colonia Uruguay

Colonia del Sacramento in Uruguay moves at a slower pace and is a much needed sanctuary from the never ending commotion of Buenos Aires, across the river in Argentina.
Sky Reflections Buenos Aires

Buenos Aires: City Without a Filter

The air. The air is always different. Buenos Aires air is heavy. It's a city without a filter. Loud noises. Chaotic sidewalks. And a brilliantly blue sky.

Argentina Road Trip Part II: Camping in Tilcara, Humahuaca, and Dreadlocks

Cloaked in a yellow dusty light was the pueblo of Tilcara. All I will say for now about camping in Tilcara during Carnaval is this: Don’t do it.

Argentina Road Trip to Andes Mountains

Intense Carnaval under Tilcara's bright sun, Incan ruins, eating llama, camping in the cold Andes, and viewing the Hill of Seven Colors. There is much to tell.
Girl Looking at reflection

The original hot tub time machine

Do you remember the time machine? I wish I knew how to work it. I’d go get you if I did, but you were the captain and I never learned the controls.
Landscape with horse Ireland

3 Moments In Ireland I Never Wanted To Forget

The wind was beautiful and soulful, light yes riddled with gusts of beauty. On the walk to Mount Shannon I heard Irish ancestors speak to me in the mist.

Snow Spotted Mountains and Himalayan Goodbyes

The Himalayas were always releasing snow and pouring it down the mountainsides, keeping the stream behind the nunnery filled with fresh water.

It’s all so crappy, moving is crappy

No, this isn't some city girl complaining about a small town. Easiest way to express how much you don't want to move? Call everything crappy.

Himalayan Memories: Trying To Capture Every Moment

Why, when I am in the midst of an amazing, beautiful and rare adventure am I paralyzed by myself? Why do I fear life? I drift through the days, counting.
Taj Mahal

Taj Mahal, Haggling, and Cultural Barriers: Adventures in India

Summer 2007 The Taj Mahal Let me take you back to Agra, India and the insanity of being a naive 20 year old navigating a country she knows very little about. Oh, and did I mention this was her second time ever traveling abroad and she was traveling alone? Wild kid. I went downstairs a

Photography & Memory: Flashback To Living at a Tibetan Nunnery in the Himalayas of India

The symbolism that saturates daily rituals in the nunnery may be religiously profound, but they are also just ordinary experiences to the people who live there.