Digging to Roam

take only pictures

leave only footprints

polaroid-2130619_1920

 Exploring areas of #playadelcarmen most visitors don’t go has given me the chance to see all this #beautiful #streetart : : : : : : #wanderlust #pathlesstraveled #mural #murals #streetphotography #urbanart #streetartphotography #mexico #seetheworld #urbanphotography #ruralart #pueblo #rivieramaya  Reunited and it feels so good @yeyita90 @theivancastelan  Starting off the New Year with a delicious smoothie at @marleycoffeepdc, the best smoothie I’ve had in years. Called the Reggae it has mango and fruto rojos (red berries like raspberries). My first time at this cafe and I would def recommend it. #healthyfood #smoothies #cafe #playadelcarmen #bestcafe #marleycoffee  True talk: I always hear people say (who go to AA or NA or Alanon or really any 12 step group), “I feel better just being in the room. It’s one hour of the day I know I can be ok.” For me, I don’t feel better instantly. I feel the little girl inside come forward, she’s an emotional part of me, and she wants us to disappear. To hide. To avoid being seen so we won’t get in trouble. Then I will speak up to share, and she calms down and the feeling subsides. Sometimes I leave a meeting and feel momentarily worse than before I went. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said that out loud before today. Why do I keep going? Because I’m playing the long game. I never learned to take care of myself, so I default to seeking solace in instant gratification. I’m impulsive and compulsive. I am changing and working towards changing my relationship with the universe. I don’t go to meetings to feel good right now (although that’s an awesome bonus I often receive), I go to meetings and work the program/s because I want to live a stable life in which I feel content. I can see it working in my life outside of the meetings. I want my emotional ups and downs to be less intense. I want to learn how to process my traumas and the traumas of my ancestors. I don’t want to be controlled by my mental illnesses. It’s not about surviving anymore, I want to thrive while doing it. :  : 🦸‍♀️ : #caribbean #selfcare #selflove #recoveryisworthit #honesty #mentalhealthawareness #ptsdawareness #cptsdrecovery #soberlife #mentalillness #sobriety #writersofinstagram #whyidoit #recoveryispossible
 I am not religious but I find solace in the quiet reverence at churches. Today I went to this church and lit candles for people I’ve lost. There is something powerful and healing about rituals, I couldn’t be at Dave’s funeral but I could pay my respects from afar. Dave and Grandpa, you are missed. Dave, you may not have realized it in life, but people around the world care about you.  #perspective #architecture #architecturephotography #lookup #clouds #blueskies #wanderlust #playadelcarmen #mexico  Happy happy New Years!! It’s 2019!! #happynewyear #felizañonuevo #mexico  Last week I was in Buenos Aires to see my hermanita, mi cuñadita, get married. We were there for two weeks and for 2/3 of the trip I was out for the count and even had to go to urgent care - chills, fever, uncontrollable cough, fatigue, bronchitis and an infection. The wedding was at the very end of our trip, so I only had a few lingering symptoms. It was a classic late night Porteños wedding that started at 8:30pm and lasted until 6 in the morning. There was a DJ and a band and dancing and sooo much food. I was worried I wouldn’t make through the night. There were wild flashing lights, fake smoke/fog, and I could feel the beat of the music in every part of my body. It had my PTSD on edge. I even threw up at one point. Yet, despite that, I made it through the whole evening and I enjoyed it. How? I used the tools I’ve gathered in recovery. I took breaks. I stepped outside. I sat down as much as I needed to. I asked my husband to hold my hand when I felt ungrounded. I said no when I couldn’t anymore. I said yes when I could. I danced when there were fewer people grooving. I stepped away when the fake smoke overwhelmed me. I said no to alcohol and yes to chocolate. Recovery is a process and it is a lot of work, but holy hell is it worth the effort. #onedayatatime #recoveryisworthit #ptsd #ptsdawareness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessawareness #survivor #cptsd #mentalhealth #sobriety #soberlife #argentina #wedding #positivevibes #itworksifyouworkit #cleanandsober
 Two Davids lost this week from the same small community. Juxtaposed in their passing, one aged 92 and one aged 27. One eased into the afterlife with hospital administered fentanyl and one taken too soon by the opioid epidemic. My grandfather and someone who was like a little brother growing up. Processing. : : : : #rip #loss #opioidcrisis #recoveryispossible #nevergiveup #ibelieveinyou #keeptrying #addictionawareness  Sights around town 🧐☀️#playadelcarmen #streetphotography #streetart #vintagecar #vintagevan #graffiti #graffitiart #wanderlust #urbanart #mural #cars #moped  Thanks @rwyounger for the bomb shirt. #babesagainstthebinary : I wanted to talk about something that I’m working on. Depression is still very much a part of my daily life. She sneaks up and suddenly takes hold. I’m trying to sit with it and just know that it, like all things, will shift. : #ptsdawareness #depressionawareness #mentalillness #recovery #inspiration #mentalhealthawareness #writersofinstagram #recoveryispossible  When I first got sober, I listened to the book #TheUniverseHasYourBack by @gabbybernstein and when I meditated on a symbol that the universe was using to get my attention, the sign that stuck with me was a #butterfly. I’ve been back in #BuenosAires for a week, only have a week left, and I’ve been terribly sick the entire time. I had to go to urgent care, I’ve barely been able to eat, I have been extremely fatigued, fighting a fever that keeps returning, and struggling with a plethora of other uncomfortable symptoms. I finally got outside today, if only to walk to the store to see if I could find food that the mere thought of eating wouldn’t make my stomach turn. On my way, I came across this breathtaking #streetart near my in-laws. I stopped dead in my tracks as I remembered it is my #sign . And I remembered that the universe has my back, which is honestly something I often forget or outright don’t believe. I’m grateful that this time, I remembered that I’m a survivor, and will keep on surviving. Unfortunately , being sick this vacation has come along with some really icky emotional repercussions, like extra sensitive reactivity, depression, and agitation. But this butterfly was there to tell me, “You are doing the best you can, and that’s pretty amazing, so relax and rest. It’s ok to not be ok.” . #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessawareness #ptsd #cptsd #traumasurvivor #dvsurvivor #mural #ptsdawareness #soberliving #sobriety #recovery #depressionawareness #itsoktonotbeok
 Oh shiitake, there are four of me. God help the world! Thanks @bloomingpineapple for the #portraitphotography. #smiling #happiness #recoveryisworthit #soberlife #ptsdawareness #cptsdrecovery #selflove #selfconfidence #itworksifyouworkit  Love this pup so freaking much. Cutest cuddler for sure. #dogsofinstagram #selflove #ptsdawareness #recoveryispossible #selfie_time  Merry Christmas!!! #selifegame #soberlife #feelingbeautiful #selflove #selfconfidence #recoveryisworthit #grateful #merrychristmas #feliznavidad  From far away I thought this was a pony, boy did I feel like an ass when I got closer...🤓 #sorrynotsorry #punsfordays #argentina #elcampo #ass #donkey #punlife #provinciadebuenosaires #animals #farm
 What does your #winter look like? #gratitude #playadelcarmen #wanderlust #soberlife #recoveryisworthit #selflove #ptsdawareness  New Year’s Day date. A surprise date night with this handsome guy. Found a cool restaurant where they make the guacamole at the table. I had a chicken tostada and a virgin piña colada and it was all delicious. #recoveryispossible #datenight #playadelcarmen #selfcare #newyear #marriedlife #healthy #healthyrelationships  Feeling full of gratitude today. It’s Christmas Eve, I’ve been sober 3 years, 7 months, and 1 day. I am with a partner who loves me unconditionally and has been with me through thick and thin. I feel more content each month that passes by. I experience major ups and downs with my mental health, it’s just how my story goes. But that’s part of my struggle and my triumph. Hope and gratitude have been my guiding lights. I’m learning to love who I am and trust my own intuition. I believe in ME and that’s what we all need a little more of: self belief and self love. : : This has been the first year since my father died that I felt joy for the holidays before Christmas arrived. We got our first Christmas tree and I made decorations. We just took a family photo with the pupster and I’m about to serve a delicious roast dinner as we find new ways to combine our different cultural experiences in our new holiday traditions. I’m just grateful and super happy. No, life is never perfect. Don’t let the makeup fool you. But damn, it’s so much better than I ever thought it could be. And that’s all because of inner work. Change is possible. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #recoveryispossible #ptsdawareness #sobrietyisbeautiful #soberchristmas #loveandlight #healing #merrychristmas #feliznavidad #selflove #selfbelief #hope #gratitude #suchacornball  Beach living. Gorgeous day. THIS is why I live in the Caribbean  ☀️ #caribbean #playadelcarmen #positivevibes #vitamind #blueskies #aelfie #selflove
  • All
  • Pictures
  • Videos
  • Visual
fishing in Vermont

My Father Lives On

Favorite Things