Angry at myself. I’ve been drinking every single day for like a week. I know why I’m doing it. Without something to confuse my sense, I don’t have to deal with this internal struggle.
From a young age, I learned that writing about my pain was like talking to a friend. My journal has traveled as far and wide as I have.
Why is Depression so heavy? Hanging around in the pit of my stomach, a pulsating orb, a cancer re-emerging after remission. The sorrow is physically manifested in my gut. I feel a deep discontent. A piece missing or shifted into the wrong position. A heavy weight, crushing. Like soaking wet wool fabric, clinging to my…
Mom liked to redecorate and renovate. She decked out the main bathroom in blue and put up yellow and blue wallpaper. The dated linoleum floor was replaced with one to match the new décor. The bathtub had always been blue, now the rest of the room was too.
I prefer to go under the radar than let people get close and reject me once they get to know me. I am afraid to be honest.
No matter how ready this anxiety is trying to make me, there is no way to prepare for doom. Living in fear is a kind of hell.
I’m not incredibly sad all the time. I don’t feel much of anything most of the time. I’m not just sadder than I used to be, I’m less everything.
Up and down emotions. One moment I feel excited and ready to try something new, and the next I am afraid of rejection and hide back in my bed.
Where is the inspiration I used to have? It feels weird to be an adult and sometimes feel like the same sad little kid I once was.
Imagine my surprise when I looked in the mirror and I wasn’t there. I couldn’t see myself, at all. I also couldn’t remember what I looked like. Have you ever had to search for something when you had no idea what that thing looked like? It’s not very easy. I have a vivid imagination and fancy…
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. The numbers listed here are the commonly used numbers for the stated region, the numbers can vary greatly depending on where you live. If you don't know your country's equivalent to 911, this wiki page and The Lifeline Foundation have comprehensive listings.
911
The Americas
112
Europe
112 & 999
Africa
112, 999, 110
Asia
112, 911, 999, 111, & 000
Oceania
Find help for a crisis by texting, calling, or chatting online with these free crisis organizations. Looking for one outside of the USA? Check out our support listings.
Crisis Text Line
Text: “HOME” to 741741
Suicide Lifeline
Text: “ANSWER” to 839863
Call: 1-800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-422-4453
The Trevor Project
Text “START” to 678678
1-866-488-7386
These online and international resources may help you anywhere you are located. Looking for local support outside of the USA? Check out our support listings.
DV Support Abroad
Call toll-free worldwide
1-833-723-3833
I'm Alive Virtual Crisis Center
Live chat with trained volunteers
Crisis Connections
24/7 crisis support with interpretation in 155+ languages