I spent so much time dulling my senses with alcohol, it wasn’t until I got sober that I could appreciate the intensity of this city. The endless individual conversations going on at the same time. The millions of people rushing from one place to another—walking, slowly meandering, speeding with the attitude of a bulldozer, blowing cigarette smoke wherever they please. I go home and I stink of it. It is hard to quiet this intensity and the sensory overload knocks me off balance.

As my senses sharpened in sobriety, I realized I needed something to counteract how overwhelmed I felt. I knew people who said meditation changed their life. They said meditation quieted their minds and the outside world. So, I tried some guided podcast meditations. Other than when sleep meditations helped me slip into dreamland, meditation felt like it was a waste of time. Each attempt was adding one drop of cold water to a pot of boiling water. I didn’t think my meditation was anything more than a temporary distraction.

It isn’t easy to deal with stresses again without my old crutch of booze. It can really suck. The world around me is loud, crowded, and smelly. Combine that with the obsessive thoughts that regularly run laps around my brain—it’s a recipe for a meltdown. To my surprise, sprinkling in some meditations completely changed the mix.

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