How to Survive Being Stuck in London Heathrow Airport Overnight
After a summer in India I was on my way home and so ready to be over with the day long travel. I got stuck in London Heathrow Airport overnight, I’ll give you step by step directions on how to survive such an experience:
Step 1: Take medicine for traveler’s diarrhea and get dizzy from it.
Step 2: Get on your plane in Delhi and sit in the wrong seat.
Step 3: Sit in the right seat, next to an old British man who smells strongly of B.O.
Step 4: In the air realize you only have 15 minutes to get to your connecting flight, try not to panic.
Step 5: Have the plane taxi into the arrival gate 30 minutes late.
Step 6: Ask which gate to go to, get directed to the wrong terminal. Turn around and run to the right one.
Step 7: Miss your flight.
Step 8: Cry at the airline desk when they say they won’t give you a hotel voucher because you are flying on two different airlines and realize you are broke because you spent all your money in India and have to sleep in the airport overnight.
Step 9: Get shuttled to the only terminal open all night, with the last of your money buy a bag of chips and a book 5 minutes before the shops close.
Step 10: Think about eating french fries.
Step 11: Try to convince yourself that you are over french fries.
Step 12: Realize you are just kidding yourself, because you will never be over french fries.
Step 13: Read the book in one sitting.
Step 12: Play Sudoku.
Step 13: Awkwardly lay on a cot without a blanket in the freezing terminal, have your feet be unnaturally cold.
Step 14: Don’t sleep for 25 hours.
Step 15: Sleep for two hours in 15 minutes intervals.
Step 16: Wake up at 5:25 am for no reason.
Step 16: Be given a thin blanket by a fellow traveler who is catching their flight.
Step 17: Wait until 11am and go to your departure terminal.
Step 18: Finally get on your plane.
Step 19: Realize you’ve been up for two days, with just couple cat naps.
Step 20: Get yelled at by the person in front of you who thinks you are hitting their seat, when you aren’t.
Step 21: Be too tired to deal and rudely yell at him, “Look, I am not touching your seat, who are you? Princess and the Pea?”
Step 22: Forget how to comprehend time, eat food but don’t know what meal it is. Lunch? Dinner?
Step 23: Nap.
Step 24: Survive and get home…after a 3 hour car ride.
August 3, 2013
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