Depression isn’t weakness, but I don’t feel strong. Depression is clawing her way back into my consciousness. Usually she dwells in a spot hidden away, and when I put her back she stays there for a while. This time, it’s like the lock is broken and she is not staying put.
I allowed a seed of anxiety to grow and take roots in other parts of my psyche. It is kind of like when a tree brings water up through its roots to nurture itself, only in a much more fucked up and non-poetic kind of way.
Dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly called multiple personality disorder, is an extremely misunderstood condition related to serious trauma usually in childhood. It’s a controversial diagnosis, in part because of the widespread ignorance and because it frequently occurs alongside other disorders.
Stigma about mental illness was encoded into my inner schema. It was so deeply embedded in me that it prevented me from even trying out possible solutions.
Today depression came up again. Buoyed by shorter daylight filled hours, the negative number in my bank account, an unrelenting sick feeling of headache, stomach pain, and mainly my brain and body reverting to default state.
You don’t need to understand a person or their post traumatic symptoms to listen to their trauma story. Having empathy and patience does not mean you must experience what they experience. We can never know exactly what another person has lived through and how they felt in each moment.
I can’t say anything. He wants me to tell him if I’m ok and I am trapped in my head, but not in my body. I can’t move my eyes to look into his.
Being depressed and an introvert can make it hard to tease apart what these social urges are attributed to. Social contact helps treat depression, but depression causes social isolation. Is it depression or just introversion?
A comprehensive listing of suicide intervention and crisis support hotlines and contacts. Talk to someone via chat, text, phone, or email. Find help for yourself or someone else.
TW: Suicidal ideation. Raw, honest, painfully real journal journey to a dark time of suicidal thoughts. Get help at suicidepreventionlifeline.org call 1-800-273-8255
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. The numbers listed here are the commonly used numbers for the stated region, the numbers can vary greatly depending on where you live. If you don't know your country's equivalent to 911, this wiki page and The Lifeline Foundation have comprehensive listings.
911
The Americas
112
Europe
112 & 999
Africa
112, 999, 110
Asia
112, 911, 999, 111, & 000
Oceania
Find help for a crisis by texting, calling, or chatting online with these free crisis organizations. Looking for one outside of the USA? Check out our support listings.
Crisis Text Line
Text: “HOME” to 741741
Suicide Lifeline
Text: “ANSWER” to 839863
Call: 1-800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-422-4453
The Trevor Project
Text “START” to 678678
1-866-488-7386
These online and international resources may help you anywhere you are located. Looking for local support outside of the USA? Check out our support listings.
DV Support Abroad
Call toll-free worldwide
1-833-723-3833
I'm Alive Virtual Crisis Center
Live chat with trained volunteers
Crisis Connections
24/7 crisis support with interpretation in 155+ languages