Digging to Roam

Category Archives

Inside Depression

Self-Disparaging Thoughts

By Kristance Harlow | December 10, 2018 | 2 Comments
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These thoughts are dark. The shame is so big that it tries to stop me from talking about the thoughts, which prevents me from processing the pain.

woman sitting inside looking at a fire outside

Yes, Things Get Worse Before Things Get Better

By Kristance Harlow | September 26, 2018 | 1 Comment
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One thing about trauma in PTSD is that it starts to show itself when you’re safe(r) than before. Our brains are working on overdrive trying to protect us and to handle all the threats and to keep us alive after the earth shattering trauma(s) we lived through. We feel scared because we know how bad…

crying woman

Feeling Depressed Is Different Than Being Depressed

By Kristance Harlow | May 24, 2018 | 1 Comment
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What I’m here to say is that “feeling depressed” is a different beast than “having depression.” Depression is a diagnosable medical condition and a disorder in the DSM-V. It affects many more aspects of life than just emotional. Some symptoms can severely impact the quality of life for people with it.

I Hate Having Depression

By Kristance Harlow | March 5, 2018 | 7 Comments
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My depression is really bad lately. I find everything meaningless. I don’t even feel happy in a quiet bit of nature. I hate having depression.

Depression Isn’t Weakness, But I Don’t Feel Strong

By Kristance Harlow | January 23, 2018 | 3 Comments
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Depression isn’t weakness, but I don’t feel strong. Depression is clawing her way back into my consciousness. Usually she dwells in a spot hidden away, and when I put her back she stays there for a while. This time, it’s like the lock is broken and she is not staying put.

looking up at palm trees

Waves of Depression and Tides of Hope

By Kristance Harlow | January 13, 2018 | 1 Comment
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Today depression came up again. Buoyed by shorter daylight filled hours, the negative number in my bank account, an unrelenting sick feeling of headache, stomach pain, and mainly my brain and body reverting to default state.

What is this Feeling? Fear of Contentment?

By Kristance Harlow | January 6, 2018 | 0 Comments
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I still don’t like speaking of it, of this fear, I don’t want people to become intrusive about me. I don’t want the worry of people who don’t understand because they’ve never felt this way.

fries and burger

Eating Obsessions and Body Negativity

By Kristance Harlow | December 29, 2017 | 0 Comments
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I think I’m emotionally eating. I really need to not do that. I have to be really careful with addictions. I could very easily become an alcoholic I think. I need to be so careful to never do that.

Suicidal and Not Giving Up

By Kristance Harlow | December 27, 2017 | 0 Comments
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TW: Suicidal ideation. Raw, honest, painfully real journal journey to a dark time of suicidal thoughts. Get help at suicidepreventionlifeline.org call 1-800-273-8255

subway train

I Woke Up Happy, Now I Am Not

By Kristance Harlow | December 18, 2017 | 1 Comment
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Standing on the platform, I try to ignore the thoughts about what I look like and focus on something else. Anything else. At least I know that the reality is, I don’t know these people and they don’t care about me.

Crisis Help USA
Emergency
Virtual & International
Crisis Help USA

Find help for a crisis by texting, calling, or chatting online with these free crisis organizations. Looking for one outside of the USA? Check out our support listings.

Crisis Text Line
Text: “HOME” to 741741

Suicide Lifeline
Text: “ANSWER” to 839863
Call: 1-800-273-8255

Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-422-4453

The Trevor Project
Text “START” to 678678
1-866-488-7386
Emergency

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. The numbers listed here are the commonly used numbers for the stated region, the numbers can vary greatly depending on where you live. If you don't know your country's equivalent to 911, this wiki page and The Lifeline Foundation have comprehensive listings.

Americas

911

The Americas
Europe

112

Europe
Africa

112 & 999

Africa
Asia

112, 999, 110

Asia
Oceania

112, 911, 999, 111, & 000

Oceania
Virtual & International

These online and international resources may help you anywhere you are located. Looking for local support outside of the USA? Check out our support listings.

DV Support Abroad
Call toll-free worldwide
1-833-723-3833

I'm Alive Virtual Crisis Center
Live chat with trained volunteers

Crisis Connections
24/7 crisis support with interpretation in 155+ languages